So we hear it all the time. You can't always get what you want. But what about when the opposite happens, what about when you do get everything you want. Like you've been praying for something to happen then it happens and your like, uhhhhhhhhhh is this really what I wanted. Wait, I'm not sure take it back can I have a trial run.
Well love is usual like that you think you want it but as soon as it shows up it feels like the most inconvenient emotion you could own. Love is not simply about caring and thinking about another person. Love has to do with lots of work manual and abstract labour. Sure falling in love is great and as thrilling as it suggests. But when you own that love you forget that wasn't even the half of it. You start to think was it worth it? Is this what I really wanted? How will I ever know? Then you either settle and work at perfecting the love you have or you begin to search for that feeling again.
See love is not all fun, it takes real work. You have to continuously care about the person you claim to love. They have to be in your every thought an action. And for those new waves who don't believe it is true. Who believe that you can be completely independent, live completely separate lives and still have a happy marriage, I welcome them to check the divorce rate. See in the 1950's and previous women had a deep investment in taking care of there husbands and men had a deep investment in taking care of there wives. This was played out by the men working long hours, giving there wives allowance and money to shop. And he women in turn cooked cleaned and cared for their children. This to me is balanced. I know the modern women is horrified by my words but I ask her, what is the alternative? You and your husband being completely independent of each other?
I'm sorry but I deeply believe that any successful relationship has an element of need. This is why marriages fail, men and especially women are feeling that they no longer need each other. My anthropology once said women only got married for financial reasons but now that we can work we have no reason for getting married. At first I was horrified how could she completely disregard 'love' as a factor. But I think I'm starting to see her light. Women an men have to have an underlying reason of necessity in or to be involved in a life long relationship. Without society looking down on premarital sex and with women working people have less and less of a reason to get married. So what am I saying, there seems to be no concrete message in my thoughts.
Should women stop working? Should men alone bare the burden of finances? Should women go back o staying at home? Should men start giving there wives allowances again. YES! But probably not in the absolute sense, women should work less then there husbands and the husbands income should be the backbone of there finances. Besides for bringing balance to the male-female relations in financially uncertain time you need to know that you can live off of one income. There are many feminist who want to get rid of the gender roles completely. But it in not gender roles that are the problem but the belittle of women's roles and the superiority given to male roles. Being a active housewife who cooks and cleans is just as important as being a CEO. Being a stay at home mom is just as important as working in a cubicle. Love between men and women cannot exist without need and balance. Men and women cannot afford to take each other for granted and we will only grow more distant if we erase gender roles.