Alhumduillah (All praise due to Allah),
Ive been out of school for a few months now. I figure I should use this time to 'search for myself'. I love when I hear people say that. There going to find themselves, would that be great to go on some journey and discover my real true self. What a kind relief that would be. But that's not real is it? I truth I've been traveling all my life. My not out of the country, but physically and mentally I've been places, been through different experiences, I've grown, and whether or not I like who I am -I am who I am.
Honestly I'm not the kind of person who's a searcher. I haven't tried many different things in life. I'm never consumed by any particular lifestyle. But now I feel like in this time in my life Allah is giving me this space to do something. Write a book, start a band, study my religion, philosopher, study psych from a-z, learn arabic. And I guess the other question is, do I want to find myself -do I want to change in to one certain identity? Do I wanna be oh Nuriddeen she's the one who-. I walked through so much of life without ever really belonging. And alot of my life I've enjoyed being this way because it gave me a chance to move through different groups without feeling overly connected -always being able to be there without really being there. Being able to constantly move on whenever I felt like I wanted to. But is it time for me to find my niche an stick to it. Is it time for me to find my place in life?