Friday, August 13, 2010

Ramadan Day 2/ Confessions of solitude #42

Masha Allah its Ramadan. Time to be closer to Allah, time to do extra salats, time to give more in charity and time to be hungry! Today has been such a quiet lonesome day. I'm in the house, didn't attend Jumuah. I did though put in some substantial time to religious matters. I read a Juz of the quran. Though that still leaves me one day behind its all good, Insha Allah. It didn't take to long so hopefully I get another Juz in today, maybe even two -what's to stop me.
Confession of solitude: I am alone, but God is alive, eternal, the protector and ever watchful -so in reality I could never be alone.
I really wanna reflect on today but I feel like I don't have much to say... I got some advice on praying off the internet so I think that my second pray was alot better then usually. I know that one of the keys to focusing in salat is to translate the Arabic I say in my salat in to English in my head. This way I'm not just reciting but I'm actually remembering why I'm praying and what I'm praying for and who I'm praying too.
Unfortunately it is very easy to get distracted. Scenes from tv shows pop in to my head, I start trying to solve philosophical problems, I start thinking about what I'm going to do after salat is done, what I did before salat and on and on and on. Masha Allah the only way to fix this problem is to do what I know works and add in any other useful advice.
Its not fun to be hungry. Its not even that I'm hungry though, I just really want to eat. I got so use to snacking during the day constantly that it feels weird not to eat at all from fajr to magrib. But I know that I'm doing it for the sake of Allah and no one else. It'd be one thing if I did it cause my parents told me too, if that were the case more the half the time i'd be sneaking food when they weren't around. But to know that Allah the most high is complete in his knowledge, all aware and the ever watchful theres no way I'll eating anything until I hear the sound of the adthan for magrib.
I've been "off"  music for a while and I've cut down on TV substantially. Actually I kinda take the music thing back because I've had quite a few slip ups but its nothing compared to before and I haven't watched a music video in a loooong time. Actually I kinda watched one when Timah was here she had on beyonce but I couldn't watch more then a few seconds (and some glances), she's in lingerie for the whole video!
I reflect on the world sometimes and though I'm a loner I still (sometimes) feel bad for the lives other people have to live. To live a life without the truth is the saddest life imaginable. To live without knowing your purpose, even though it is a never ending journey on the path to be a 'submitter', is unfortunate. To not know that God is one -to have never heard of Prophet Muhammad (for yourself) is an emptiness that too many people know. Insha Allah I'm not intending to heighten myself or lower them but if they could leave their world and come in to Islam they would curse their past lives and the people who lied to them. AllahuAlim, Allah blesses whom he will and may he bless the unbelievers to come across the light of Islam before the light of the world is forever dimmed.

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