Imam Siraj once said (something to the effect of) 'how sad is it when our happiness depends on others'. I think about this as I reflect on my own life. I've spent so much of my life waiting for the right product or the right person to finally provide me with happiness. But what is happiness really? I feel like I've come to the conclusion that happiness is not for the one who seeks it but rather for the one who accepts it.
What is happiness really? It is a feeling of completeness not a final goal but rather a state of being. Searching for happiness is the chief cause of unhappiness because happiness is not some kind of goal it is rather a choice. A poor blind ugly homeless man can chose to be happy. He can chose happiness just as a rich beautiful women can search for happiness and consistently come up empty.
I think that especially as women we still envision that prince charming is one day coming to rescue us from the high tower, evil witch, or scary dragon. We constantly feel as though we are missing a piece of ourselves and that there's avoid we need to fill. Not that we shouldn't want to be with our male counterparts but our desperation for happiness in a mate blinds us.
We all know that happiness comes from the inside out, But do we really believe it? Psychologists earn a living from working with advertisers to sell us happiness. Most time when I but clothes its because I want to achieve a feeling. I don't need more then one bag to carry my school books. I don't need more then one fall coat or more then one spring coat. Having an abundance of choices doesn't make me happy. In fact often times the overabundance of choice cause unnecessary anxiety on what could be easily met decisions.
I don't know what some mystical final happiness looks like. But I know how I feel when I stop searching for the definition. If I die today never having traveled, never married, without kids will I weep on my death bed over what never transpired or will I praise Allah for giving me all that he has given to me. Happiness is not a goal or and ending. There's no one out there who can hand me happiness. There's no husband or child who can give it to me and no career that can supply it. Happiness is not waiting to be found its waiting to be chosen by anyone who is willing to accept it.