Saturday, April 12, 2008

The gender blender

The role of man are woman are fading some may call it equality or progress. But the gender bender to me , is like a revolution without a cause. While this is a cute saying it is possible the most dangerous act of destruction society is cause upon itself. Change for the sake of change is simple foolish. During (2) main feminist movements woman accomplished some great things like the right to vote (for white woman) and the right to own property after the core elements of necessary change was received women were left to frivolous and unguided demands like the 'right to work' or have many sexual partners.
I will first deal with the 'right' to work. White women who were bored in their houses (my opinion and speculation) because they had black maids to cook and clean for them those poor women were left house bound and decided the were going to work. Black women know that working is no privileged (though I find it amazing when black woman talk about the movement as if it had something to do with them), black women have work since the beginning of slavery. Working is not a privilege. Working is a necessity. Of course it is different when you 'work' doing something that you love like writers or art.
Those feminist didn't quite figure and neither has our generation, how can relationship cultivate when man and woman both work. And who does the cooking cleaning, child raising while mom and dad are working. Working has brought us women even farther away from equality then we were before. Men are saying to women go ahead and work -just make sure you cook dinner, iron my clothes, take care of the children and look good when I come home; while he will still just work, come home relax, eat the food you made then go to bed --oh right and ask you for sex. This my sisters is surely not equality. And lets be honest is it really equality that we want:To split the rent, have separate cars, separate jobs -two different lives. That would be more like having a roommate then a husband.
How far has this 'progress' really gotten us? Is have a job worth losing a marriage? Less then 10 percent of the population had divorce in the 1950's now were up to 60 percent. I believe this is at least partly because we no longer have a clear distinct meaning of the expectations for men and women, husband and wife. Think about when you were growing up and the sense of security and love you felt from (any) constant activities you did with your parents or the expectations you had that they would love and support you, Or more specific things like giving you allowance each week. Constancy makes us feel secure and loved, and if we no longer have expectations or gender consistency, we will continue to fail in our marriage and parenting.
As I said before that feeling of love comes from constancy and security. Parents of today have to much on their plate. Were always scrambling for time. And while NYC is the city that never sleeps we each chose the life we wish to lead. Children are suffering by the lack of parenting taking place, sometimes by unwed parents or products of unplanned pregnancy which I will allude to later own. Married parents don't have time for each other or their children. Women are now throwing themselves in to their careers and the men are as well (though they have been the bread winners for a majority of their history). Where are the mothers who bake cookies, make dinner everyday, help with school work, pick their kids up from school -at work. And the men are just as uninvolved in parenting as they every were. And it is possible that they should take a more active role but they are not the ones who (in majority) asked for gender role reassignment.
Another off set of the "feminist ideal' is the right to have many sexual partners as somehow gaining control over one's body. But how can you gain over something by constantly giving it a away, it works in no other case and it will not work for sexual intercourse. This is one of the foolish ideals of the feminist movement. To want to be be like men, this is the core example of change without purpose. So even if it means literally to die the feminist ideal says we should be 'equal to men. Some endeavors were innocent, like wearing pants. Other were deadly, like smoking cigarettes or have casual sex. Most of all the new causes of HIV/AIDS is women (women are more affected by venereal diseases through heterosexual intercourse). Is this the change we ask for. I was recently reading and article about a young women who is a part of a virginity club in Harvard, some of their critics say they are preaching to old ideal that a women importance lies in her virginity. This is a ridiculous critic, no one is saying that all a women has to offer is sex, but her body and intimacy should be important to her. The fluids, the whispers, and the closeness that is shared during sex is not something to be taken lightly.
Another mistake to the feminist ideals is the "animal farm effect". they have preached that women should have the write to chose but then they want to critic and angrily attack any women who oppose their ideals. Equality is not the answer, it is a false feel good statement, I for one am happy to be a women I do not in any way wish to play football, have a penis or drink a beer with the guys. And do women really think they empower they selves when they have uncommitted sex, don't the men enjoy i that woman's promiscuity? Then women want men to be responsible fathers when they didn't even have enough respect for them selves to have sexually intercourse with a stranger.
Sometimes I go so far to think that their were men behind the construction feminist ideal. When women also decided that it was their 'right' to bare all. To speak filthy and dress as prostitutes, it is simply men who benefit ( and male fashion designers who are behind these looks) from women dressing lies whores. I constantly see women baring their cleavage or legs and if you are with these women for a day you will see them constantly 'fixing' themselves, pulling down their skirt pulling up their shirts, I see it all the time. I almost want to laugh when these women give the argument of freedom of choice, why would you chose to be uncomfortable and share your body with complete strangers.
he feminist movement/ ideals try to dictate for women ho they should think the same way they believe men once did. And no I'm not suggesting that we all give up and go gay, men and women need one another (literally just continue our race of human). Men need to be allowed to be men, and women should be allowed to be women once again. I not saying that everything was great in the fifties but I do know that change for the sake of change is equal to death.

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